NORTHCO-17: The Attack of the Armadillos

November 30, 2009, 11:30AM

Samuel L. Jackson

Pulp Fiction

Mortimer Young awoke pissed off. He was used to greeting Rosy Fingered Eos in that manner; had been for years.

Angela was used to it. Frisky at night, pissed in the morning. That was her mate for life; actually made her giggle after all these years. Suddenly she realized she had to get up and start putting Thanksgiving together. Worked on the 'full platter' all week, after all. Angela began smiling.

Meanwhile Mortimer was washing the ire from his six foot five frame. Oh yeah, he thought, Auntie Millie and Uncle Kevin and the rest of the crew. Ha!!! Actually, I kind of like Thanksgiving. Always fun to watch Detroit lose.

Nice ride actually, he thought, two hundred miles of straight driving to Sioux Falls and north from there. Seventy five miles an hour and it makes it a nice ride. Not much to see on the Plains in late November, really. I mean except for the firs, there is no green, there is no foliage, there is no snow, there is no sunlight, there is no....November.

The dinner yesterday had been tremendous. For once everybody was happy. These are the days as Ten Thousand Maniacs say.

There was one thing that nagged at him however. He could swear that the cooked turkey kind of glowed a faint orange as Angela brought it to the grand dining room table.

Mort arrived about three p.m.

Is Langdon here?

Sure is Morte, responded Sally. Langdon, wake the hell up. Your appointment is here.

How the hell are ya Morte?

Good Langdon. Get some turkey and some lovin' on your feast day?

The two entered Langdon's corner office and parked at the desk. Langdon reached into the drawer and pulled out some Wild Turkey along with two steel cups.

You heard about the guttings Langdon?

Yeah. You hear about the headless corpse?

For sure. I just had to come out here and see what you got. Mort pulled out a couple files from his brief case.

Langdon, here are the photos at the scene, close up even though we already emailed them to ya.

Yeah, I saw em. Hey how is Angela? My own true love you know. You stole her from me.

What can I say, I was always prettier than your sorry ass.

Hahahaha

We gotta blight Morte. A real blight. I mean we are seeing our animals glow in the dark for chrissakes. All the way from Pierre to Sioux Falls. And murders. Morte, we have this headless corpse and four other dead over the last five years or so THAT WE KNOW ABOUT. We have armadillos, fucking armadillos coming from the south in droves. Do you know I actually saw a two headed squirrel with six goddamn legs haunting one of the witnesses' abode and ...well here we are in the Great Midwest. Things like this are not supposed to happen here. AND I KNOW AND YOU KNOW THIS NORTHCO HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT ALL. ALL OF IT.

You may have something there Langdon. That is why I am here. Well besides the fact that I hate leftovers. The three hunters actually worked for the EPA. No kidding. I grew up with two of the three. They were investigating some strange chemical in the ground water. I do not even know what the fuck it was but they were upset about it.

Well Morte, we have the DOD to contend with, the EPA to contend with, the FBI and Homeland Security is on this and corporate America.

Did you speak with Jim at the AG's office yet?

Yeah. Jim is a good man and he is mad as hell. He told me on the phone that he won't even drink the water. Won't even drink the fucking water in his own home town!!! I mean it is like we are in Florida or some goddamn thing.

I got an insider here Morte. On paper he is supposed to be number three or some such at the South Dakota installation and do you know, even HE DOES NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT NORTHCO DOES? What the hell has happened to this country Morte? I mean isn't a company supposed to make things like cars and boars and wagons and guns and then market the damn things and then sell them through distributors. And then our people are hired on and we have America. Right? Sorry to rant Morte. Langdon finished his drink and against his better nature poured another Wild Turkey motioning to his friend.

Okay, but just a drop. I gotta tell you, we all live on the road in South Dakota but there is a dryness to a couple hundred plus miles. Hahahahaha

Morte, if they gutted the hunters this has to be a message of some sort. I mean it was state EPA and not the Feds, so we are once again supposed to cower to the corps and I aint gonna do that. There is an audit coming up and that will be enough for us to get a warrant and all.

The strange part of the gutting though is that there was no blood. No blood whatsoever at the scene, in the bodies, on the bodies, on the ground; I mean nowhere. It was like the blood had been taken from the bodies before the gutting even took place and we know nothing took place at the actual scene. My friends were killed somewhere else, a post mortem completed, and the bodies deposited there.

Morte, can you stick around till sometime tomorrow? You can stay at my place. We can see my insider tomorrow AM. What do you say?

Oh that's fine by me Langdon. I really do not feel like four hours of driving tonight. Besides this WT is acting fastly. Ha!!!

Algernon awoke on Thanksgiving Day, alone. Feast days meant little to him. They had for years meant little to him.

Mom had died of cancer ten years before. Dad had not spoken to him in 15. He had a little brother in Iraq. That was it. No real family to speak of at all. If Davey were back, they would be together, for sure.



He had become sick of hiding who he was. All through his childhood and into college, he had to pretend that he was one of them. Pretend to be someone else. Laugh with the guys when someone told a pussy joke. Hell, he even took Eileen to the prom. It was only later that he realized everyone pretends to be someone else. So what is the diff?

Besides he had been alone for so long. He was beginning to think he was going to lose any ability he once had to interact with people. He had found Thomas, the love of his life. And that was taken from him. And he knew who to blame for that. NORTHCO.

He would now spend all the time he could muster to destroy that company.

Algie lined up the vials, all seventy of them in the fridge. A cooler really with the temp set just right. Algie always kept the cooler in his home office area.

He carefully packed what he would need. He brought up the portable cooler from the cellar and he would drive to Sioux Falls in the morning. He had made an appointment with the State BAC. He had also prepared the memos at home summarizing his work over the last year along with test results he gathered from his work at NORTHCO.

Meanwhile, back in the forests surrounding the projects, Sean and Bernice from accounting were having a Thanksgiving Picnic. Just the two of them along with Sparky.

She was dressed in 17th century garb with all those women's clothes and Sean was dressed as the 17th century pilgrim with the high hat and all. The two had sort of been playing pilgrim games back at Sean's house but that is a scene not directly relevant to these proceedings.

Isn't it strange to picnic up here in the end of November? Sean inquired.

Well, 48 degrees along with a wonderful sun and no wind. This is paradise my love. Bernice noted.

Two huge baskets of the best foods available. They had dressed warmly and each had a small rug to protect them from the coldish ground. Besides they were only two blocks from Sean's house should any untoward wind arise.

Sparky was romping and running and running and romping. A few birds too stupid to believe in the great plague of winter fluttered in the trees. Sean could swear he even saw a butterfly.

As the two lovers toasted their tremendous luck in weather, A cabal of ten armadillos began coming toward them. Well, surrounding them anyway. As they were toasting with their red wine, Sparky returned barking up a storm.

Bernice was at first confused. But when ten more of the armored beasts showed up and ten more after that, her heart began beating too fast and her breath began to leave her.

Sean, on the other hand became angry. He did not become angry often. He usually settled for whatever he could get peacefully. What was the difference? You fight and claw your way through life, or you settle back and take what comes more easily. But lately events had caused him much consternation. His black outs were beginning to get to him.

Seeing the fear in Bernice he stood resolutely, his hat blown off by a mighty breath of wind and recalling Jules' misquote of Ezekiel, he raised his hands to the sky, and addressing the throng of threatening invaders made this pronouncement:

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

Even Sparky was astounded at such goings on and immediately fell silent, looking in awe at his master. The beasts immediately disbursed.

Bernice and Sean gathered up their things and walked home.