November 19, 2009, 7:36PM
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Frank awoke as part of his sofa. He looked around and after a couple minutes figured out why he, not so deep down, wished he could just remain part of a sofa.
This vacation thing has got to end before it kills me, he thought as he slugged to the kitchen to fix coffee on his way to the toilet. And I also need new hobbies. A naked woman once in a while could really do me no harm he mused as he held his masculinity once more in his hand.
He grabbed his coffee and wandered toward his PC with a smoke hanging out of his mouth. Where is the packet? he thought. Oh jeeez it could be anywhere. Frank just got on line reviewing his continual NORTHCO memo when there was a knock at the front door.
As he opened the door a rather tall man with a fashionable hat and overcoat stood with his hand out.
Hello Frank.
The guy looked familiar so he simply shook his hand, and kept staring at him.
Remember me Frank?
Dr. Cliché?
You are not who you told me you were, to say the least.
Now why would you say that Frank? I thought we got along rather well.
You do not work at that hospital Doctor, if in fact you are a doctor at all.
Look Frank, do we have to stand in the doorway like this or are you going to offer your shrink a cup of Joe?
Frank thought about it.
What the hell. He said as he led the mysterious figure to his sofa and went into the kitchen for the coffee. When Frank returned, Cliché was at his PC.
Get the fuck away from there. I have almost had it with you Cliché. Now get out of my house.
Now wait a minute Frank, let us...look I do not work for the hospital, but I am a doctor. I assure you and Kevin called me at my clinic in Sioux Falls. I am here at his behest.
Then what in the hell were you doing at my PC?
I was just wandering around, honest. I know little about your work but Kevin consulted with me about your file. You are subject to seizures, loss of memory, and you are getting shorter for no discernable reason. And I have information concerning the tests performed on your clothes.
Well we will see about this Frank said while he put the coffee on the table in front of the couch and grabbed his phone.
Frank got Kevin on the phone and his physician confirmed everything Cliché had told him.
WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO GODDAMN CONFUSING?
Cliché blessed himself and lowered his head as he sat down on the couch.
Algie had his lab coat on and was proceeding to the warehouse. Algie had his PhD from Columbia in bioluminescence as a particular and peculiar branch of biology. He had become particularly interested in the process of bioluminenscence in sea life. Algie had written a paper on the phenomena four years earlier for the National Biological Association:
Bioluminescent animals can be found at least half a dozen animal phyla. This includes bioluminescent cnidarians (jellyfish, coral, and sea-pens), ctenophores ("comb jellies"), arthropods (fireflies, glow worms, certain fungus gnats, millipedes, and centipedes), certain annelids, one species of snail, marine molluscs including certain clams, nudibranchs, octopuses, and squids, various fish, some brittle stars, a group of small crustaceans, all krill, 65 species of mushrooms, protists called dinoflagellates, and a large family of bioluminescent bacteria. The last three aren't actually bioluminescent animals, but they are bioluminescent organisms.
Bioluminescence occurs in certain animals where chemical energy (in the form of ATP) is converted into light energy, usually peaking around one portion of the spectrum, making it one color. Green is by far the most common color used by terrestrial bioluminescent animals, while blue is the favored color among bioluminescent animals in the sea. Every color on the spectrum has a bioluminescent animal or protein associated with it, but most colors are quite rare. The difference in favored color on the land and sea exists because different colors stand out in each environment, and the visual systems of animals in each environment are tuned to the local colors.
There are five accepted theories on why bioluminescent animals exist. These are that bioluminescence can perform the functions of camouflage, attraction (of prey, predators of would-be predators, and mates), repulsion by way of confusion, communication between bioluminescent bacteria (quorum sensing), and rarely, the illumination of prey (used by the Black Dragonfish). It can be hard to explain why certain organisms are bioluminescent, while with others, the reasons may be obvious.
For instance, in some species, like fireflies, bioluminescence is so integrated with the organism that it is an integral part of its lifestyle -- firefly larvae use it to repel predators, while adults use it to attract prey and signal to mates. Turn on a light bulb in an insect-infested area and you'll see the benefit of luminescence to attracting prey. Fireflies are extremely efficient at converting chemical energy into light -- they do it with an efficiency of 90%. In contrast, a typical incandescent light bulb is only 10% efficient. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-some-bioluminescent-animals.htm
What was so interesting about this is that the phenomena is sooooo great, it can be seen from space. That's right, the light created by these organisms is so great it has been picked up by satellite photos. http://www.lifesci.ucsb.edu/~biolum/organism/milkysea.html
Deep in the ocean, where sunlight can no longer penetrate, lies an incredible world of darkness. And against all odds, this just happens to be the location of one of nature's most impressive artificial light shows. The creatures here have evolved their own ways of dealing with the darkness. Through a process known as bioluminescence, they have developed the ability to use chemicals within their bodies to produce light. If you have ever seen a firefly then you have witnessed the same process in action. Bioluminescence is mainly a marine phenomenon. It is not found in freshwater. On land, it is seen only in a few species of fungi and insects. It is the oceans where this unique ability achieves its highest form. Hundreds of species of fish and invertebrates flash their colors in a light show that can sometimes rival the streets of Las Vegas http://www.seasky.org/deep-sea/biolumiscence.html
Bioluminescence should not be confused with Fluorescence. Bioluminenscence is the emission of visible light either voluntarily or involuntarily by a plant or animal.
Fluorescence is the involuntary emission of light when an organism is being subjected to ultraviolet light.
This is not some trick with ultraviolet light evoking mere fluorescence. These creatures create light through chemical processes. Certainly most of the light is produced from one celled creatures and the simplest of animals, the angel fish. But there are animals akin to something you would behold in some science fiction film:
The paper went to say:
Another process that should not be confused with Bioluminescence is something called tapetum lucidum. This process is commonly known as glowing eyes. When light enters the eye, it's supposed to hit a photoreceptor that transmits the information to the brain, Powell explains. But sometimes the light doesn't hit the photoreceptor, so the tapetum lucidum acts as a mirror to bounce it back for a second chance.
A large number of animals have the tapetum lucidum, including deer, dogs, cats, cattle, horses and ferrets. Humans don't, and neither do some other primates. Squirrels, kangaroos and pigs don't have the tapeta, either.
Although bioluminescence may be considered rare as measured by the total number of species, it is extremely diverse in its occurrence. There are many different types of organisms that produce bioluminescence, from microscopic cells to fish and even a few sharks. But there are no luminescent animals in higher vertebrates above the fish. Overall, luminescent organisms represent most of the major phyla. http://siobiolum.ucsd.edu/Biolum_q&a.html
So even though the tiniest once celled organism might be luminescent, pretty large animals like sharks could also have luminescence. But what if man intervened in all of this?
All cells have the ability to produce ultra-low levels of light due to oxidation of organic molecules such as proteins, nucleic acids, etc. Through a very long process of natural selection, the organisms we call bioluminescent have developed the ability to enhance light production through physiological, molecular, anatomical, and behavioral adaptations. All this because the bioluminescence imparts an important ecological advantage to the organism. It is the ecological context that provides the driving force for natural selection.
In order for an organism to use bioluminescence that has been artificially induced, several criteria need to be met. First, there should be an ecological role for the light emission. Second, there needs to be control of light emission. We know from the study of luminescent organisms that with the exception of bacteria, all organisms have precise control of light emission. To produce light for the wrong reason or at the wrong time is a deadly mistake.
There are futuristic visions of glowing Christmas trees, plants that light up along highways, or even crops that glow when they are thirsty, but this type of light emission doesn't have an ecological context. http://siobiolum.ucsd.edu/Biolum_q&a.html
It was this paper that caused NORTHCO to seek out Algernon and recruit him as a biochemist.
The property of this strange process was certainly chemical, but it was determined by one's DNA.
There were two different 'methods' of making an animal glow that was not originally predestined to glow at all. One method was to inject bacteria into the subject in such a manner as to infect the animal with permanent qualities of bioluminescence--hopefully without causing the animal any other type of harm.
The second way to change the organism was through gene splicing.
The biochemist simply changes the organism into another type of animal forever.And this new animal would reproduce other of its kind that glowed for all generations to come.
NORTHCO was involved in both types of experiments. And those experiments were going awry, to say the least.
(A new chapter appears here every Monday and Thursday, if you really can stomach this stuff, and previous chapters may be viewed at: http://forestroot125.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html )
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
NORTHCO-14: Motivational Speaking
http://www.reviewsonline.com/images/ihs00/IHT00051.jpg
Langdon left Frank after a couple hours. It is harder when you do not have intimidation at your disposal.
Fuck subpoenas. What the hell is his probable cause anyway? He came to some conclusions on his way back to his office.
First, he would notify the FBI formally and informally. I mean animals who glow in the dark; maneating animals for chrissakes. And there is only one possible source of all this poison and NORTHCO is the only defense contractor in the area.
Second, he might just as well notify the Forest Service; state and federal. They must have reports on these strange goings on. He might as well pad their files. Besides, he might get some cooperation from them. If there is one place in government you can find real green nuts, it is in the forest services. Talk about tree huggers and they do not like wild droppings glowing in the dark.
Third, he will notify the state and federal EPA. They will wish to cya on this mess. They must look like they are doing something about all this. And with the killings in Pierre are putting this mess in the papers. Besides, there is a whole new ‘team’ running the federal EPA anyway and the old don’t ask-don’t tell rules are out the window.
Fourth, the state Department of Agriculture must get in on this. The blaming will begin soon. NORTHCO will start blaming insecticides and such for any disruption of the environment. But Agriculture will not like everything shoved onto its real constituency…the farmers. Besides, Langdon might get further cooperation from the ag guys and gals. If there is something fucked up about the environment, some evidence is bound to show up in the fields. And the state can deal with the feds on this one.
Fifth, it is a matter of procedure, but he must begin a discussion with the Attorney General’s office. See if the AG can help with some coordination of agencies in all of this. Besides, he seems to remember that Ralph had a little run in with NORTHCO on that murder last year. The wife had been the prime suspect but she ‘disappeared’ and he had the damnedest time getting any information from NORTHCO on anything. This corporate confidentiality coupled with the shield of national security made NORTHCO a more than formidable foe.
Sixth, Langdon thought that it would not hurt to call his old friend Clancy, Majority Whip in the State Senate. The entire frickin legislature is filled with hunters. I mean they cannot be happy about this.
Paper work is not a waste of time. Not at all. There are protocols and paper can open doors. It can also cover asses like Langdon’s. And of course, he was dictating all this on his hand held and of course it was at the same time being transmitted to Sally at the office.
He shoved in a disc and looked around. Something was wrong. I mean the sun was just setting. He looked at the clock…five o’clock. What the hell is this? It could not have been much past noon or one o’clock at the latest when he left Frank’s.
This is not the right road. This is the old road.
Meanwhile his radio was playing one of his favorites. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ib9I7vW0Ko&feature=PlayList&p=19A9583D35083FB8&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=49
What in the hell is he doing here? When things got like this, I mean when he was really rattled and alone,
there was really only one thing to do.
He pulled over the car to the shoulder and parked. He opened up his coat and thought of his aunt Silvia…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5HEHwYWDzE
Sometime later…
Whoooooooooooooooooooo. Now that’s how I spell relief.
Langdon cleaned up and buckled back up but as he looked out the window of the driver’s side, he saw two glowing balls. He lowered the window and saw two armadillos going at it.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO THE STATE OF SOUTH DAKOTA?
Meanwhile back at the office, Sean was cleaning up. This double work load was getting to him. Son of a bitch he thought. Just then Sphincter jaunted in on him.
Where the hell are my f-46’s &49’s. How do you expect me to run this place without knowing the personnel situation and the income for the week?
Normally, I……aw forget it. Here are the fucking forms, Sean said while he handed them to his boss. You know it’s not easy doing two jobs. We are only down four today…not bad for the flu season. Income is up but you already know that because we received the anticipated bonuses from DOD and Xe. So LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP.
Adrenaline does funny things to certain mammals. Sean was a wuss. But he knew he was a wuss. He certainly never wished to be a hero. It was too difficult attempting to separate the good guys from the bad, the wheat from the chaff. He just wanted a simple life. Get up in the morning in a decent abode. Grab some coffee while reading a little news. Then clean up and get to the office. At the office, receive your list of tasks for the day and then get the fuck out of there.
That’s it in a nutshell. Hope the corp does well so that you may keep your job. But do not take any of it seriously. Others were put on this planet to make a difference. Corporations were there to sell ‘stuff’. What that stuff would be, where the financing would come from….it really had nothing to do with him. Sean was always put in some slot where he would moniter certain aspects of the goings on and duly report variances and such to his superior. That is why it was so easy to work with Frank. He knew Frank really never gave a damn either. He was just happy to have someone like Sean around. Someone who performed the tasks demanded, refrained from bitching about anything, and reported certain matters off the record.
It is all a function of what Sean called the corporate proto-conscious. This crap about how somehow if I assume I make an ass out of you and as out of me. We are all asses, us humans and to pretend to be other than…well it’s the real stupidity.
You do not think about anything in particular when you take a shower, unless you are considering certain mammalian urges at the time. Of course you assume the water is the correct temp after testing it through the curtain or door. You assume where the soap is even when you drop it. You assume where the shampoo and the liquid soap are. You assume that when you step out of the shower the floor of the bathroom will not only be in tact as you exit but that it will be at a certain level. You of course assume where the fricking towel is….you are simply proto-conscious the entire time while your mind takes you to other times and places.
As a matter of fact, the way to start a bad day is to experience things that rattle your assumptions and throw you out of protoconsciousness. For instance, you get into the shower and reach for the soap and it is not there, it is not where it is supposed to be.
Or as you don your work shirt for the day, possibly following a conscious choice of the proper shirt, your third button breaks off. Oh good, now I must put my attention to mundane things. Shite….Now the soap placement as well as the shirt button have thrown you off your game. As a matter of fact, in your agitated state you begin to ascribe consciousness to the shirt and to the soap and to the toilet that will not stop running and…
Well you assume that if the computer print out says you have so much money that week available for personnel and supplies, then there is so much money so available. You must, as part of your assigned duties check and recheck the figures through other software and other contacts—or else have someone else whom you trust perform those duties. And that is the reason you were picked for the position you find yourself in with regard to the corporation. The corporation cannot, EVER, afford to have conscious people working on its payroll.
But you never question whether or not the particular duties ascribed to a particular governmental contract are good for the corporation, good for the governmental people involved, good for the public or good for the environment. That is against protocol, that is against corporate interests and, most importantly, that is in violation of specific terms of your employment contract. Hell that is anti-AMERICAN.
Sean thought about the motivational seminar held on the first floor auditorium on Tuesday. He could still see the broad with the fake smile looking like she belonged on a set with John Popeil. At least Popeil did not look like Andrea Mitchell. Here was this 55 year old woman attempting to look like she was 35 spouting all this crap about teamwork. The united purpose.
Like in Monty Python’s Holy Grail, the peons are piling the manure. And Eric Idle is complaining as he performs his important ‘job’; but as he spouts his discontent in Marxist Dialectic. As long as the son of a bitchin peon is piling the manure in the proper manner, let him spout. That is what I say.
Sean actually studied in High School and in his undergraduate curriculum. So he knew when she was quoting St. Clement of Alexandra or Ralph Waldo Emerson. Even Thorton Wilder was quoted:
See the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
Or even a Kraut by the name of Von Herder:
Without inspiration, the best powers of the mind remain dormant, there is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.
This is so much bullshit. Thorton Wilder would have nothing to do with the modern day corporation any more than than Socrates would have anything to do with a Socratic Methodological Law School. I mean who decided that this crap works? The corporation does not wish to ignite anything. Hell if these employees woke up one day, I mean really woke up they would show up with automatic weapons and go completely postal.
Corporations have more rights than individuals. At least those corps run by the smartest part of the grand oligarchs. They hide their secrets better than cheney hid his treachery. Paper trails are prepared so that when something goes wrong—which means someone was caught—there is someone down the line to be properly blamed.
And too much motivation fucks up the works. In order to be motivated one should know what the product is and why the product is important to the public, or customer or governmental unit or other corporation.
And most employees in most corporations do not stick around all that long anyway. Five years is normal and ten years extraordinary. Yet the motivational seminars ask for true allegiance to the PLAN, to the AIMS, to the ORGANIZATION.
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP.
Therefore it is the hidden message in these seminars; actually several hidden messages.
Your production had better increase over the next thirty or sixty day period or you are out.
Your smile had better be more pronounced over the same period.
Your acknowledgement of fiefdom toward the company and your superiors had better be more pronounced.
Your subtle acknowledgement of fear, fear for your future, fear for future references, fear for loss of your paycheck better be present at all relevant times.
So the hidden message in all these seminars is FEAR.
WELL SOMETIMES I JUST GET SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THAT FEAR.
Sean thought all these things as he gazed upon the body of Sphincter lying in a pool of blood on the floor of his office. Ha. What a look this guy has. Even in death that damn sneer is more than just evident. As Sean caught his breath he looked down at the letter opener in his hand.
It had been a gift from his school mates in graduate school. Actually Fanny had given it to him. This simple office tool that few in management ever used, was shaped like a grand Saracen’s sword. It was curved and beautifully inscribed. Sean always kept it sharp and shiny. I mean it just slid right into this asshole’s gut, like those Ron Popeil commercials on cable. The ones with the knives that run right through a tomato or a loin so smoothly, like knife through butter at room temperature.
He gutted the corpse from the groin up to the rib cage and scooped all the innerts into the bag on the tiled floor.
Sean wiped the blood off the blade. Of course he licked it first. Just for the thrill of it. This was the third time in as many years. He suddenly looked down at himself and noticed the blood all over his clothes. Yuck.
But it had to be done. Zoey told him it had to be done. Oh and he was thirsty. Time for a brewsky at Castle.
Quickly he undressed, carefully folding his blood splattered clothes, before placing them in the garbage bag. He went into his office bathroom and showered. While in his robe he went into his closet and dressed for the second time that day. This time the shirt he had chosen worked.
Sean took the back stairs toting the garbage bag up to the fourth floor. He deposited the bag inside a door that said: CLEAN UP IN AISLE V. He took the stairs down to the first floor and exited the building, heading for the Castle.
Boy I could really use some of that fine house ale right now Sean mused.
Bernice had been waiting at the Castle for about half an hour, nursing her ale when a tall Black man came by and sat down at her table.
Hi, I am Zoey.
I’m sorry, Bernice blushed, but I am waiting for someone.
Oh Sean will be with us shortly Bernice.
How do you know me, my name?
Zoey slowly went into the inside pocket of his suit coat and pull out a badge. He opened it for Bernice to see.
It read simply: Security-NORTHCO Zoe Miller Head of Security
But I have been working for NORTHCO for five years and never met you.
I am around, as they say. 79 cameras just on the three floors alone Bernice. I just thought it was time that we met. There are only a few who I interface with during a typical week. Sean is one of them.
Oh. Bernice was a little confused over all this. And because of her recent meetings with Frank and Sean she was more than mildly suspicious of exactly why the head of security was introducing himself at this particular moment.
Is there any specific information you need from me, I mean in your official capacities? Bernice began working on her mug of ale with a little more intensity.
Oh, I just knew that Sean would be a little late; he is taking care of some last minute clean up for me.
And he told me that you might be meeting him later here. But, as long as we are here and all, how are things over in accounting?
Well Zoe, as you know we have completed a full report for shareholders on the fiscal year that just ended in September and now we must do a comparison to our calendar year projections. All these materials go to the independent auditor sometime in the next two weeks, you know.
A busy time Bernice I am sure. But I had heard that there was some problem with receivables. That is, there appeared to be a discrepancy between the monies sent from the government and the actual deposits.
I am surprised that security would deal with something like this Mr. Miller. I already had a meeting with Mr. Sphincter and his adjutant…I forget his name…yesterday morning. We thought that there was a problem at the bank. You realize we use a local bank—that is really owned by NORTHCO—and we have had scuffles with the principals there over a few issues including charges.
Well Bernice, that is what I heard. But this is for your ears only. Understand.
Bernice just looked at him.
I wish to tell you something that is for your ears only Bernice. Understand?
Oh, I am sorry, of course. Yes I am all ears.
Sphincter had a secret account at a bank in Michigan. We discovered some $350,000.00 there and we discovered a clerk at the bank who had a ‘special’ relationship with this Sphincter. It turns out that he has been funneling funds to that account for over two years.
Oh that does not make my department look real good, does it?
No Bernice, we checked you out. You are pure as the first snow cover and we even found fourteen separate memos by you, directed to Sphincter, about your concerns. You did your duty, that is for sure.
Just then Sean appeared carrying his own mug.
Hey Sean, everything taken care of? Inquired Zoe.
Oh for sure Zoey. For sure.
Did you leave proper instructions as we discussed?
CLEAN UP ON AISLE V.
GREAT.
Langdon left Frank after a couple hours. It is harder when you do not have intimidation at your disposal.
Fuck subpoenas. What the hell is his probable cause anyway? He came to some conclusions on his way back to his office.
First, he would notify the FBI formally and informally. I mean animals who glow in the dark; maneating animals for chrissakes. And there is only one possible source of all this poison and NORTHCO is the only defense contractor in the area.
Second, he might just as well notify the Forest Service; state and federal. They must have reports on these strange goings on. He might as well pad their files. Besides, he might get some cooperation from them. If there is one place in government you can find real green nuts, it is in the forest services. Talk about tree huggers and they do not like wild droppings glowing in the dark.
Third, he will notify the state and federal EPA. They will wish to cya on this mess. They must look like they are doing something about all this. And with the killings in Pierre are putting this mess in the papers. Besides, there is a whole new ‘team’ running the federal EPA anyway and the old don’t ask-don’t tell rules are out the window.
Fourth, the state Department of Agriculture must get in on this. The blaming will begin soon. NORTHCO will start blaming insecticides and such for any disruption of the environment. But Agriculture will not like everything shoved onto its real constituency…the farmers. Besides, Langdon might get further cooperation from the ag guys and gals. If there is something fucked up about the environment, some evidence is bound to show up in the fields. And the state can deal with the feds on this one.
Fifth, it is a matter of procedure, but he must begin a discussion with the Attorney General’s office. See if the AG can help with some coordination of agencies in all of this. Besides, he seems to remember that Ralph had a little run in with NORTHCO on that murder last year. The wife had been the prime suspect but she ‘disappeared’ and he had the damnedest time getting any information from NORTHCO on anything. This corporate confidentiality coupled with the shield of national security made NORTHCO a more than formidable foe.
Sixth, Langdon thought that it would not hurt to call his old friend Clancy, Majority Whip in the State Senate. The entire frickin legislature is filled with hunters. I mean they cannot be happy about this.
Paper work is not a waste of time. Not at all. There are protocols and paper can open doors. It can also cover asses like Langdon’s. And of course, he was dictating all this on his hand held and of course it was at the same time being transmitted to Sally at the office.
He shoved in a disc and looked around. Something was wrong. I mean the sun was just setting. He looked at the clock…five o’clock. What the hell is this? It could not have been much past noon or one o’clock at the latest when he left Frank’s.
This is not the right road. This is the old road.
Meanwhile his radio was playing one of his favorites. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ib9I7vW0Ko&feature=PlayList&p=19A9583D35083FB8&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=49
What in the hell is he doing here? When things got like this, I mean when he was really rattled and alone,
there was really only one thing to do.
He pulled over the car to the shoulder and parked. He opened up his coat and thought of his aunt Silvia…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5HEHwYWDzE
Sometime later…
Whoooooooooooooooooooo. Now that’s how I spell relief.
Langdon cleaned up and buckled back up but as he looked out the window of the driver’s side, he saw two glowing balls. He lowered the window and saw two armadillos going at it.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO THE STATE OF SOUTH DAKOTA?
Meanwhile back at the office, Sean was cleaning up. This double work load was getting to him. Son of a bitch he thought. Just then Sphincter jaunted in on him.
Where the hell are my f-46’s &49’s. How do you expect me to run this place without knowing the personnel situation and the income for the week?
Normally, I……aw forget it. Here are the fucking forms, Sean said while he handed them to his boss. You know it’s not easy doing two jobs. We are only down four today…not bad for the flu season. Income is up but you already know that because we received the anticipated bonuses from DOD and Xe. So LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP.
Adrenaline does funny things to certain mammals. Sean was a wuss. But he knew he was a wuss. He certainly never wished to be a hero. It was too difficult attempting to separate the good guys from the bad, the wheat from the chaff. He just wanted a simple life. Get up in the morning in a decent abode. Grab some coffee while reading a little news. Then clean up and get to the office. At the office, receive your list of tasks for the day and then get the fuck out of there.
That’s it in a nutshell. Hope the corp does well so that you may keep your job. But do not take any of it seriously. Others were put on this planet to make a difference. Corporations were there to sell ‘stuff’. What that stuff would be, where the financing would come from….it really had nothing to do with him. Sean was always put in some slot where he would moniter certain aspects of the goings on and duly report variances and such to his superior. That is why it was so easy to work with Frank. He knew Frank really never gave a damn either. He was just happy to have someone like Sean around. Someone who performed the tasks demanded, refrained from bitching about anything, and reported certain matters off the record.
It is all a function of what Sean called the corporate proto-conscious. This crap about how somehow if I assume I make an ass out of you and as out of me. We are all asses, us humans and to pretend to be other than…well it’s the real stupidity.
You do not think about anything in particular when you take a shower, unless you are considering certain mammalian urges at the time. Of course you assume the water is the correct temp after testing it through the curtain or door. You assume where the soap is even when you drop it. You assume where the shampoo and the liquid soap are. You assume that when you step out of the shower the floor of the bathroom will not only be in tact as you exit but that it will be at a certain level. You of course assume where the fricking towel is….you are simply proto-conscious the entire time while your mind takes you to other times and places.
As a matter of fact, the way to start a bad day is to experience things that rattle your assumptions and throw you out of protoconsciousness. For instance, you get into the shower and reach for the soap and it is not there, it is not where it is supposed to be.
Or as you don your work shirt for the day, possibly following a conscious choice of the proper shirt, your third button breaks off. Oh good, now I must put my attention to mundane things. Shite….Now the soap placement as well as the shirt button have thrown you off your game. As a matter of fact, in your agitated state you begin to ascribe consciousness to the shirt and to the soap and to the toilet that will not stop running and…
Well you assume that if the computer print out says you have so much money that week available for personnel and supplies, then there is so much money so available. You must, as part of your assigned duties check and recheck the figures through other software and other contacts—or else have someone else whom you trust perform those duties. And that is the reason you were picked for the position you find yourself in with regard to the corporation. The corporation cannot, EVER, afford to have conscious people working on its payroll.
But you never question whether or not the particular duties ascribed to a particular governmental contract are good for the corporation, good for the governmental people involved, good for the public or good for the environment. That is against protocol, that is against corporate interests and, most importantly, that is in violation of specific terms of your employment contract. Hell that is anti-AMERICAN.
Sean thought about the motivational seminar held on the first floor auditorium on Tuesday. He could still see the broad with the fake smile looking like she belonged on a set with John Popeil. At least Popeil did not look like Andrea Mitchell. Here was this 55 year old woman attempting to look like she was 35 spouting all this crap about teamwork. The united purpose.
Like in Monty Python’s Holy Grail, the peons are piling the manure. And Eric Idle is complaining as he performs his important ‘job’; but as he spouts his discontent in Marxist Dialectic. As long as the son of a bitchin peon is piling the manure in the proper manner, let him spout. That is what I say.
Sean actually studied in High School and in his undergraduate curriculum. So he knew when she was quoting St. Clement of Alexandra or Ralph Waldo Emerson. Even Thorton Wilder was quoted:
See the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
Or even a Kraut by the name of Von Herder:
Without inspiration, the best powers of the mind remain dormant, there is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.
This is so much bullshit. Thorton Wilder would have nothing to do with the modern day corporation any more than than Socrates would have anything to do with a Socratic Methodological Law School. I mean who decided that this crap works? The corporation does not wish to ignite anything. Hell if these employees woke up one day, I mean really woke up they would show up with automatic weapons and go completely postal.
Corporations have more rights than individuals. At least those corps run by the smartest part of the grand oligarchs. They hide their secrets better than cheney hid his treachery. Paper trails are prepared so that when something goes wrong—which means someone was caught—there is someone down the line to be properly blamed.
And too much motivation fucks up the works. In order to be motivated one should know what the product is and why the product is important to the public, or customer or governmental unit or other corporation.
And most employees in most corporations do not stick around all that long anyway. Five years is normal and ten years extraordinary. Yet the motivational seminars ask for true allegiance to the PLAN, to the AIMS, to the ORGANIZATION.
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP.
Therefore it is the hidden message in these seminars; actually several hidden messages.
Your production had better increase over the next thirty or sixty day period or you are out.
Your smile had better be more pronounced over the same period.
Your acknowledgement of fiefdom toward the company and your superiors had better be more pronounced.
Your subtle acknowledgement of fear, fear for your future, fear for future references, fear for loss of your paycheck better be present at all relevant times.
So the hidden message in all these seminars is FEAR.
WELL SOMETIMES I JUST GET SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THAT FEAR.
Sean thought all these things as he gazed upon the body of Sphincter lying in a pool of blood on the floor of his office. Ha. What a look this guy has. Even in death that damn sneer is more than just evident. As Sean caught his breath he looked down at the letter opener in his hand.
It had been a gift from his school mates in graduate school. Actually Fanny had given it to him. This simple office tool that few in management ever used, was shaped like a grand Saracen’s sword. It was curved and beautifully inscribed. Sean always kept it sharp and shiny. I mean it just slid right into this asshole’s gut, like those Ron Popeil commercials on cable. The ones with the knives that run right through a tomato or a loin so smoothly, like knife through butter at room temperature.
He gutted the corpse from the groin up to the rib cage and scooped all the innerts into the bag on the tiled floor.
Sean wiped the blood off the blade. Of course he licked it first. Just for the thrill of it. This was the third time in as many years. He suddenly looked down at himself and noticed the blood all over his clothes. Yuck.
But it had to be done. Zoey told him it had to be done. Oh and he was thirsty. Time for a brewsky at Castle.
Quickly he undressed, carefully folding his blood splattered clothes, before placing them in the garbage bag. He went into his office bathroom and showered. While in his robe he went into his closet and dressed for the second time that day. This time the shirt he had chosen worked.
Sean took the back stairs toting the garbage bag up to the fourth floor. He deposited the bag inside a door that said: CLEAN UP IN AISLE V. He took the stairs down to the first floor and exited the building, heading for the Castle.
Boy I could really use some of that fine house ale right now Sean mused.
Bernice had been waiting at the Castle for about half an hour, nursing her ale when a tall Black man came by and sat down at her table.
Hi, I am Zoey.
I’m sorry, Bernice blushed, but I am waiting for someone.
Oh Sean will be with us shortly Bernice.
How do you know me, my name?
Zoey slowly went into the inside pocket of his suit coat and pull out a badge. He opened it for Bernice to see.
It read simply: Security-NORTHCO Zoe Miller Head of Security
But I have been working for NORTHCO for five years and never met you.
I am around, as they say. 79 cameras just on the three floors alone Bernice. I just thought it was time that we met. There are only a few who I interface with during a typical week. Sean is one of them.
Oh. Bernice was a little confused over all this. And because of her recent meetings with Frank and Sean she was more than mildly suspicious of exactly why the head of security was introducing himself at this particular moment.
Is there any specific information you need from me, I mean in your official capacities? Bernice began working on her mug of ale with a little more intensity.
Oh, I just knew that Sean would be a little late; he is taking care of some last minute clean up for me.
And he told me that you might be meeting him later here. But, as long as we are here and all, how are things over in accounting?
Well Zoe, as you know we have completed a full report for shareholders on the fiscal year that just ended in September and now we must do a comparison to our calendar year projections. All these materials go to the independent auditor sometime in the next two weeks, you know.
A busy time Bernice I am sure. But I had heard that there was some problem with receivables. That is, there appeared to be a discrepancy between the monies sent from the government and the actual deposits.
I am surprised that security would deal with something like this Mr. Miller. I already had a meeting with Mr. Sphincter and his adjutant…I forget his name…yesterday morning. We thought that there was a problem at the bank. You realize we use a local bank—that is really owned by NORTHCO—and we have had scuffles with the principals there over a few issues including charges.
Well Bernice, that is what I heard. But this is for your ears only. Understand.
Bernice just looked at him.
I wish to tell you something that is for your ears only Bernice. Understand?
Oh, I am sorry, of course. Yes I am all ears.
Sphincter had a secret account at a bank in Michigan. We discovered some $350,000.00 there and we discovered a clerk at the bank who had a ‘special’ relationship with this Sphincter. It turns out that he has been funneling funds to that account for over two years.
Oh that does not make my department look real good, does it?
No Bernice, we checked you out. You are pure as the first snow cover and we even found fourteen separate memos by you, directed to Sphincter, about your concerns. You did your duty, that is for sure.
Just then Sean appeared carrying his own mug.
Hey Sean, everything taken care of? Inquired Zoe.
Oh for sure Zoey. For sure.
Did you leave proper instructions as we discussed?
CLEAN UP ON AISLE V.
GREAT.
Monday, November 9, 2009
NORTHCOXII-Secret Agent Man
Frank awoke. Where...oh god the hospital again. Fear almost paralyzed him but he could move his fingers and toes. It was just a dream; a dream of previous torture.
He looked around, recognized his situation, and began to rise.
But I cannot rise, he thought. He was chained to the bed.
Reminds me of an overnight I had in Bangkok. Hahahahah.
Just then the door opened to his private room. In walked a man in his late thirties with a white coat and badge along with a stethoscope around his neck. He was carrying a medical file along with a pad.
Frank, I see you are awake.
Uh, yeah. For sure. Say, can you do something about these restraints?
Frank I am Dr. Cliché.
Nice to meet you Doc, but can you do something about these restraints.
Open your eyes Frank. Cliché moved to the right side of the bed and sat down on the chair provided.
Frank opened his eyes. There were no restraints. What the hell.......
Would you like something to drink Frank?
It was like his mouth and throat were sealed shut. Fear gripped Frank again. Cliché brought him a glass of water from the loo. Take this slowly, slowly...that's it.
Slowly Frank sipped the liquid and his mouth and throat opened up. He sat up and noticed an intravenous tube in his left arm. Other than that, he was free. And he felt that relief; like he had had a long sleep.
Dr. Criche, I ...how long have I been here?
Your chart says two days Frank. And I am Cliché, like the French snap shot. Got it?
Cliché, right, got it. With that he pulled the tube out of his arm. The doctor applied some antiseptic to the wound and covered it with a bandage.
Thanks.
Do you know why you are here Frank?
I think I had a seizure. But I was in this dream; one of those real dreams. And instead of forgetting the experience as I do with most of my dreams, the plot...so to speak...is permanently etched onto my brain.
Well, I am your assigned therapist Frank. I am a psychiatrist. Only the best for management in NORTHCO you realize. Anyway, tell me about this dream.
A couple weeks ago, I was driving on the old road out of town. The one they closed off. I am not sure how I got there really. My car shut down or I stopped to look at something. I am not really sure.
I awoke on the steps of my friend's home. Everything is a blur as far as that period of what turned out to be three days.
And your current dream?
Well there I am, on the side of the road and outside of my car. Now I must preface this with an insight I have had from some prior dream experiences. I feel this paralysis. It is a slow process. Like my arms and legs become real heavy and my sight begins to go. And the situation becomes worse and worse and everything appears to get slower and slower. And the fear just grips me. I mean I am a grown man, a man with a responsible position with an important company and yet I am gripped with fear.
You ever wake up and find that you have wet the bed?
No. Never happened. Well wait a minute. My wife told me I did once. But I have no recollection.
Oh, you are married? Yes, well no. Not any more. The papers were signed a couple months ago, but I have been living alone for a long time; a year and a half actually.
Frank continued to relate the 'plot' of this dream while Dr. Cliché dutifully took notes.
Time, Doctor, it is time that I am missing. That is what really scares me. Although I am not in a hurry to catch a nap if you catch my meaning.
Following the session, Frank got up and went to the loo and then found his clothes in the closet provided.
I do not think you should leave right now Frank. It is not a good idea. You are in here for observation and such. They wish to take tests; certainly an EEG, an EKG and an MRI. We must scan your brain Frank.
Well I will set up something with the front desk later on Doc. I promise.
And with that Frank left the hospital for the parking ramp, got into his car and drove home.
He drove up to the house opened the garage door, parked and exited. He almost tripped over that goddamn bike again. EXCEPT HE DID NOT HAVE A BIKE. Now calm down, he thought. Look you are an epileptic. You have known this for at least five years now. You forget things....
Frank got into his kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He opened his secret drawer and pulled out a pack of cigs along with a lighter.
Sitting on his sofa, taking a deep drag from his favorite tube, he thought about his life. They are not going to let me keep working here. I have to make some arrangements.
And what exactly did he tell the shrink? Hell, Dr. Cliché seemed like a nice guy and all, but the NORTHCO Med Center was not the safest place for him to let his guard down. And speaking of guards, he should not have let his guard down to a potential guard employed by the corp.
He grabbed his phone from the coffee table and called the hospital. He still had the card in his top pocket.
NORTHCO Med Center. What can I do for you Frank?
How the hell does she know who I am? This is freaky.
How do you know my name?
Your ID Frank; it shows up right here on my receiver.
Do you know me?
Of course Frank. I met you at the Castle that one night. My name is Melanie.
Small town, everybody knows everybody I guess. Searching his mental files....Oh hi Melanie. I am sorry, getting old I suppose.
Oh Frank they made quite a fuss here a few minutes ago. You were not supposed to leave you know. But Dr. Creighton has a note here telling me to get some tests scheduled.
Frank thought for a sec.
Well Melanie, how about an appointment with Dr. Cliché?
Who?
Dr. Cliché, the shrink Melanie. Spent the morning with me.
Melanie paused. There is no Dr. Cliché at this center Frank. Never heard of a Dr. Cliché.
Frank looked down to the inside of his elbow. There was the bandage.
Click. Frank hung up the phone. His hand dropped the phone almost involuntarily. He felt his pate getting damp again. Like he had just drank an entire bottle of hot sauce. Geez what time is it anyway? Frank clicked on cable and drank down the beer. Seemed like one long gulp.
Suddenly cable came on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9O5DU6i3g4
Sean woke up alone. Bernice had evidently left early. What a night. That woman could make him feel so goooooooooood. And he could smell her presence. Strange; but so nice.
He went to the kitchen a made some espresso. He grabbed a paper while the machine steamed. The Pierre Gazette, all fifteen pages of it. Thank god he also had the New York Times delivered at the same time.
GIANT STAG SHOT. NO SURVIVORS
What in the hell does that mean? No survivors? Must be those newbie interns from the college taking over the paper again. He grabbed his coffee and dropped down on his sofa, paper in hand. He leaned over the coffee table and turned on cable.
AP: Yesterday a giant stag was shot dead about twenty miles outside of Pierre. The hunting season does not begin for another week in this rural country. So the Highway Patrol was flummoxed when the team discovered the grand prey just off one of the main highways.
Three hunters, with full regalia were found less than 25 yards from the prize carcass. Their bodies had been drained of all blood after being gutted. The full autopsy report from the country coroner will not be published until next week according to Officer Barnes.
There is no way of telling how the locals lost their lives. No evidence of illegal conduct except the hunting itself. Assuming they were responsible of course for the death of the Stag. After the bodies were removed to the office of the country coroner, I had the grand stag transported to my barn for safe keeping. I have a refrigeration unit there.
The 35 point buck was the greatest single treasure ever found in the wild in these parts, said the Officer.
The officer added that the nearby deer droppings glowed blue.
Holy shite, Sean thought. Since half his coffee was now on the paper he rushed to the kitchen carefully fixing another brew as he deposited the paper in the sink.
Nothing of course regarding Thomas or Algernon or Frank. You know what we need here...here in the godforsaken projects? A NORTHCO Web Alert. Yeah An Alert!!!
Yeah, how long would that stay up?
Sparky wandered in and Sean took him for a quick walk. Good dog actually. Never acts up. Nothing ever destroyed in the home after he returned late from the office.
Sean shaved and showered and whatever and went to the office, early again. Frank would not be around the rest of this week. That was for sure. And as he arrived at the center in the shuttle, he saw the maintenance crew at work, again, on the driveway that led to the warehouse in the lower level.
Meanwhile, Bernice had made it home. I mean it was only ten blocks and the walk did her good. She was humming. No need for Extenz or any nonsense like that, she mused. Sean was a keeper.
She went through the garage door via the code. Her car was at the office parking facility of course. As she went through the door to her kitchen she noticed the wagon. She does not have a wagon. What the hell is that doing here?
Bernice got the green tea and put the bags and the cute little pot she received from her sister Suzanne into the microwave. She showered and the tea was waiting for her as she poured a cup of relief and made it to her sofa for the local news.
Bernice loved the local news. In the morning this guy with a rug that would scare Sean's doggy, read the script provided as best he could. 45 and sunny. That aint bad for November, she thought.
Nothing that exceptional by way of news; Judge Andrews was caught driving drunk again. Her brother had actually gone to school with the old sot. According to what her parents had told her, three decades ago there would have been no arrest, no booking. And now Andrews would be through as a judicial officer forever.
As she finished her tea and prepared to dress for work, she noted a strange line moving across the bottom of her television screen:
FBI INVESTIGATING NORTHCO.
He looked around, recognized his situation, and began to rise.
But I cannot rise, he thought. He was chained to the bed.
Reminds me of an overnight I had in Bangkok. Hahahahah.
Just then the door opened to his private room. In walked a man in his late thirties with a white coat and badge along with a stethoscope around his neck. He was carrying a medical file along with a pad.
Frank, I see you are awake.
Uh, yeah. For sure. Say, can you do something about these restraints?
Frank I am Dr. Cliché.
Nice to meet you Doc, but can you do something about these restraints.
Open your eyes Frank. Cliché moved to the right side of the bed and sat down on the chair provided.
Frank opened his eyes. There were no restraints. What the hell.......
Would you like something to drink Frank?
It was like his mouth and throat were sealed shut. Fear gripped Frank again. Cliché brought him a glass of water from the loo. Take this slowly, slowly...that's it.
Slowly Frank sipped the liquid and his mouth and throat opened up. He sat up and noticed an intravenous tube in his left arm. Other than that, he was free. And he felt that relief; like he had had a long sleep.
Dr. Criche, I ...how long have I been here?
Your chart says two days Frank. And I am Cliché, like the French snap shot. Got it?
Cliché, right, got it. With that he pulled the tube out of his arm. The doctor applied some antiseptic to the wound and covered it with a bandage.
Thanks.
Do you know why you are here Frank?
I think I had a seizure. But I was in this dream; one of those real dreams. And instead of forgetting the experience as I do with most of my dreams, the plot...so to speak...is permanently etched onto my brain.
Well, I am your assigned therapist Frank. I am a psychiatrist. Only the best for management in NORTHCO you realize. Anyway, tell me about this dream.
A couple weeks ago, I was driving on the old road out of town. The one they closed off. I am not sure how I got there really. My car shut down or I stopped to look at something. I am not really sure.
I awoke on the steps of my friend's home. Everything is a blur as far as that period of what turned out to be three days.
And your current dream?
Well there I am, on the side of the road and outside of my car. Now I must preface this with an insight I have had from some prior dream experiences. I feel this paralysis. It is a slow process. Like my arms and legs become real heavy and my sight begins to go. And the situation becomes worse and worse and everything appears to get slower and slower. And the fear just grips me. I mean I am a grown man, a man with a responsible position with an important company and yet I am gripped with fear.
You ever wake up and find that you have wet the bed?
No. Never happened. Well wait a minute. My wife told me I did once. But I have no recollection.
Oh, you are married? Yes, well no. Not any more. The papers were signed a couple months ago, but I have been living alone for a long time; a year and a half actually.
Frank continued to relate the 'plot' of this dream while Dr. Cliché dutifully took notes.
Time, Doctor, it is time that I am missing. That is what really scares me. Although I am not in a hurry to catch a nap if you catch my meaning.
Following the session, Frank got up and went to the loo and then found his clothes in the closet provided.
I do not think you should leave right now Frank. It is not a good idea. You are in here for observation and such. They wish to take tests; certainly an EEG, an EKG and an MRI. We must scan your brain Frank.
Well I will set up something with the front desk later on Doc. I promise.
And with that Frank left the hospital for the parking ramp, got into his car and drove home.
He drove up to the house opened the garage door, parked and exited. He almost tripped over that goddamn bike again. EXCEPT HE DID NOT HAVE A BIKE. Now calm down, he thought. Look you are an epileptic. You have known this for at least five years now. You forget things....
Frank got into his kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He opened his secret drawer and pulled out a pack of cigs along with a lighter.
Sitting on his sofa, taking a deep drag from his favorite tube, he thought about his life. They are not going to let me keep working here. I have to make some arrangements.
And what exactly did he tell the shrink? Hell, Dr. Cliché seemed like a nice guy and all, but the NORTHCO Med Center was not the safest place for him to let his guard down. And speaking of guards, he should not have let his guard down to a potential guard employed by the corp.
He grabbed his phone from the coffee table and called the hospital. He still had the card in his top pocket.
NORTHCO Med Center. What can I do for you Frank?
How the hell does she know who I am? This is freaky.
How do you know my name?
Your ID Frank; it shows up right here on my receiver.
Do you know me?
Of course Frank. I met you at the Castle that one night. My name is Melanie.
Small town, everybody knows everybody I guess. Searching his mental files....Oh hi Melanie. I am sorry, getting old I suppose.
Oh Frank they made quite a fuss here a few minutes ago. You were not supposed to leave you know. But Dr. Creighton has a note here telling me to get some tests scheduled.
Frank thought for a sec.
Well Melanie, how about an appointment with Dr. Cliché?
Who?
Dr. Cliché, the shrink Melanie. Spent the morning with me.
Melanie paused. There is no Dr. Cliché at this center Frank. Never heard of a Dr. Cliché.
Frank looked down to the inside of his elbow. There was the bandage.
Click. Frank hung up the phone. His hand dropped the phone almost involuntarily. He felt his pate getting damp again. Like he had just drank an entire bottle of hot sauce. Geez what time is it anyway? Frank clicked on cable and drank down the beer. Seemed like one long gulp.
Suddenly cable came on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9O5DU6i3g4
Sean woke up alone. Bernice had evidently left early. What a night. That woman could make him feel so goooooooooood. And he could smell her presence. Strange; but so nice.
He went to the kitchen a made some espresso. He grabbed a paper while the machine steamed. The Pierre Gazette, all fifteen pages of it. Thank god he also had the New York Times delivered at the same time.
GIANT STAG SHOT. NO SURVIVORS
What in the hell does that mean? No survivors? Must be those newbie interns from the college taking over the paper again. He grabbed his coffee and dropped down on his sofa, paper in hand. He leaned over the coffee table and turned on cable.
AP: Yesterday a giant stag was shot dead about twenty miles outside of Pierre. The hunting season does not begin for another week in this rural country. So the Highway Patrol was flummoxed when the team discovered the grand prey just off one of the main highways.
Three hunters, with full regalia were found less than 25 yards from the prize carcass. Their bodies had been drained of all blood after being gutted. The full autopsy report from the country coroner will not be published until next week according to Officer Barnes.
There is no way of telling how the locals lost their lives. No evidence of illegal conduct except the hunting itself. Assuming they were responsible of course for the death of the Stag. After the bodies were removed to the office of the country coroner, I had the grand stag transported to my barn for safe keeping. I have a refrigeration unit there.
The 35 point buck was the greatest single treasure ever found in the wild in these parts, said the Officer.
The officer added that the nearby deer droppings glowed blue.
Holy shite, Sean thought. Since half his coffee was now on the paper he rushed to the kitchen carefully fixing another brew as he deposited the paper in the sink.
Nothing of course regarding Thomas or Algernon or Frank. You know what we need here...here in the godforsaken projects? A NORTHCO Web Alert. Yeah An Alert!!!
Yeah, how long would that stay up?
Sparky wandered in and Sean took him for a quick walk. Good dog actually. Never acts up. Nothing ever destroyed in the home after he returned late from the office.
Sean shaved and showered and whatever and went to the office, early again. Frank would not be around the rest of this week. That was for sure. And as he arrived at the center in the shuttle, he saw the maintenance crew at work, again, on the driveway that led to the warehouse in the lower level.
Meanwhile, Bernice had made it home. I mean it was only ten blocks and the walk did her good. She was humming. No need for Extenz or any nonsense like that, she mused. Sean was a keeper.
She went through the garage door via the code. Her car was at the office parking facility of course. As she went through the door to her kitchen she noticed the wagon. She does not have a wagon. What the hell is that doing here?
Bernice got the green tea and put the bags and the cute little pot she received from her sister Suzanne into the microwave. She showered and the tea was waiting for her as she poured a cup of relief and made it to her sofa for the local news.
Bernice loved the local news. In the morning this guy with a rug that would scare Sean's doggy, read the script provided as best he could. 45 and sunny. That aint bad for November, she thought.
Nothing that exceptional by way of news; Judge Andrews was caught driving drunk again. Her brother had actually gone to school with the old sot. According to what her parents had told her, three decades ago there would have been no arrest, no booking. And now Andrews would be through as a judicial officer forever.
As she finished her tea and prepared to dress for work, she noted a strange line moving across the bottom of her television screen:
FBI INVESTIGATING NORTHCO.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
NORTHCO-XI: What's It All About Algie?
http://freshome.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/black-white-room.jpg
The room was white; white as a new blanket of South Dakota snow; before the car tracks, before the animal tracks and before the other inevitable pollution by nature or man. Virgin is the appropriate word here.
And it was padded; the cell that is. But some shadows remain
Sitting alone, without so much as a pencil or a shoe lace, Algie contemplated his fate. What was he doing here?
I have accomplished all that was ever asked of me.
I mean I turned in my homework on time.
I studied while others were out having fun.
I finished my undergrad work before my eighteenth birthday.
I had a Dr. before my name by my 21st.
I never stole money. I never killed my brother. I never bribed or extorted anyone. I never intended anyone any harm. I never lied about anything 'material'.
I always paid my taxes.
I was kind to others, especially mumsy.
No music available, no stereo, no IPOD. Yet the words from the latest bard keep reverberating in my brain.
Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child's balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying.
Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fools gold mouthpiece
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proved to warn
That he not busy being born
Is busy dying.
Why in God's name was I meant to go through all this? There is no one here and I am stripped of all human dignity. And I am alone. But why? I never eschewed the norm really. I mean I went to work for the man. I took the corporate clothes. I responded affirmatively.
WHAT DID YOU WISH ME TO DO? WHAT DO YOU WISH ME TO DO?
My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?
I certainly never wished to trod upon new ground. I took the road more traveled; not the other way around. And yet here I find myself. I never wished to risk.
I was always doing THE BEST I COULD. And it was not good enough in the end.
People, some people, just hated me the entire trip; the entire journey through this veil of tears.
What did I ever do to THEM?
There was all this blood. All this carnage. The most violent thing I ever did was to draw equations on a white board and get paid for it. It was not my job to apply the equations in any particular manner.
There was a knock while Algie was musing and the door opened. In stepped Dr. Andrews.
How are we doing Dr. Flowers?
Algie, I am just Algie.
All right Algie. Why don't you just call me Ben? Algie how are you feeling today?
I am inside a white box, all alone, and I need a cigarette.
Ben reached into his white coat and pulled out a pack of Marlboroughs, handed the patient a cig and gave him a light from his flame. Ben broke the rules when it suited him and when he felt it might help him get through to a patient.
Now you do something for me Algie.
Algie took a long toke off of the cigarette and blew out the smoke in rings; it was the first feeling of relief he had felt since...since he got here, he guessed. What is that? Algie responded with a question. These were the first words he had uttered since he got here.
Put your pj's on and don your robe again Algie.
Algie looked down. My God, I have been sitting here buck naked. The patient had not really noticed his 'condition'. He duly complied, taking several more deep drags off his smoke and depositing the ashes in a plastic cup partially filled with water. He finished the cig and extinguished the butt in the cup.
Algie, I like to start at the beginning of things. You are a highly educated scientist and I realize this, so I do not wish you to think I am talking down to you. Do you believe that?
Yes, he responded. Compliance is the best policy when you are powerless, Algie thought.
Why are you here Algie?
Algie's heartbeat quickened. His breathing became shallower. Perspiration appeared on his pate and his forehead.
Now slow down. Take a deep breath Algie. That's right. Hold it in a second. Now let it out.
The sight came back into his left eye and Algie began feeling more at ease. He continued this deep breathing exercise another five minutes. He looked carefully at his therapist and said: My friend was brutally murdered and I survived. I am being punished for surviving.
This is the first time you have responded to anybody since that night Algie. It has been over a week since you arrived here. I would like to take a risk Algie. No matter what course of treatment I suggest, there is risk. Are you ready to take a risk Algie?
Algie thought for a second; a week? Damn. He had no idea he had been there that long.
Yes I am Doctor. Yes I am.
Good. Then come with me.
The door that had magically opened upon the arrival of Ben had remained open and the two simply waltzed out into the hall. And they walked on down the hall....
What's it all about, Algie?
Can you tell us just how Thomas died?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Algie?
Because we think that perhaps you have lied
Or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Algie,
Then I guess it's wise to be cruel.
And if you do not tell us what went wrong, Algie
We have no choice but to call you a fool
And you'll be stuck in here in the psych ward, Algie
we know there's something going on
Something ain't quite right in transvestite land...
We believe in love, Algie
but not men wearing stockings at all, Algie
Until you tell us what happened there that night, Algie
You won't walk out of here some day
You won't find love in here, Algie
Algie
What's it all about?
Algie?
Algie...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lDSf0A9RTk&feature=PlayList&p=E82F8EA9BF55CB85&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=42 (lyrics furnished by LISB)
Sean and Bernice from accounting finally 'retired' to Bernice's place. They had learned at lot that evening at the Castle. Hanson had divulged some secrets about NORTHCO and the fourth floor.
Following the narrative concerning UFO's and such, Sean had inquired about maintenance. It must be difficult to keep that building so clean. Well Hanson could not shut up after that. Even though the janitor never had been allowed access to the basement of the office building, he had been to the fourth floor on occasion.
And what a mess Hanson had found there. Shredded paper all over the place...the floor, the desks. Costumes for Christsakes. What the hell was that all about. And cages with animals stacked on the wall, the west wall he thought. There were no windows as such and the lighting was strange.
He could never bring help when he was ordered up there. And every time he had completed his 'tour', Sphincter would show up and order him to take this blue pill.
At least he surmised this because the last time he cleaned up the top floor he was given the pill and tucked it under his tongue, spitting it out later. He was certain that it gave him headaches and he was not going through that again. So even though that last tour was the only one he recalled, there was enough familiarity there to cue him; to indicate that that had not been the first time in the mysterious attic.
There was something else about the ten or so caged animals. Even though they all appeared to be examples of local breeds like raccoons and rabbits, THEY ALL GLOWED ORANGE.
Where the piece to this puzzle fit was the question. But the late night ale had made the couple too whimsical for such inquiry.
The room was white; white as a new blanket of South Dakota snow; before the car tracks, before the animal tracks and before the other inevitable pollution by nature or man. Virgin is the appropriate word here.
And it was padded; the cell that is. But some shadows remain
Sitting alone, without so much as a pencil or a shoe lace, Algie contemplated his fate. What was he doing here?
I have accomplished all that was ever asked of me.
I mean I turned in my homework on time.
I studied while others were out having fun.
I finished my undergrad work before my eighteenth birthday.
I had a Dr. before my name by my 21st.
I never stole money. I never killed my brother. I never bribed or extorted anyone. I never intended anyone any harm. I never lied about anything 'material'.
I always paid my taxes.
I was kind to others, especially mumsy.
No music available, no stereo, no IPOD. Yet the words from the latest bard keep reverberating in my brain.
Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child's balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon
There is no sense in trying.
Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fools gold mouthpiece
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proved to warn
That he not busy being born
Is busy dying.
Why in God's name was I meant to go through all this? There is no one here and I am stripped of all human dignity. And I am alone. But why? I never eschewed the norm really. I mean I went to work for the man. I took the corporate clothes. I responded affirmatively.
WHAT DID YOU WISH ME TO DO? WHAT DO YOU WISH ME TO DO?
My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?
I certainly never wished to trod upon new ground. I took the road more traveled; not the other way around. And yet here I find myself. I never wished to risk.
I was always doing THE BEST I COULD. And it was not good enough in the end.
People, some people, just hated me the entire trip; the entire journey through this veil of tears.
What did I ever do to THEM?
There was all this blood. All this carnage. The most violent thing I ever did was to draw equations on a white board and get paid for it. It was not my job to apply the equations in any particular manner.
There was a knock while Algie was musing and the door opened. In stepped Dr. Andrews.
How are we doing Dr. Flowers?
Algie, I am just Algie.
All right Algie. Why don't you just call me Ben? Algie how are you feeling today?
I am inside a white box, all alone, and I need a cigarette.
Ben reached into his white coat and pulled out a pack of Marlboroughs, handed the patient a cig and gave him a light from his flame. Ben broke the rules when it suited him and when he felt it might help him get through to a patient.
Now you do something for me Algie.
Algie took a long toke off of the cigarette and blew out the smoke in rings; it was the first feeling of relief he had felt since...since he got here, he guessed. What is that? Algie responded with a question. These were the first words he had uttered since he got here.
Put your pj's on and don your robe again Algie.
Algie looked down. My God, I have been sitting here buck naked. The patient had not really noticed his 'condition'. He duly complied, taking several more deep drags off his smoke and depositing the ashes in a plastic cup partially filled with water. He finished the cig and extinguished the butt in the cup.
Algie, I like to start at the beginning of things. You are a highly educated scientist and I realize this, so I do not wish you to think I am talking down to you. Do you believe that?
Yes, he responded. Compliance is the best policy when you are powerless, Algie thought.
Why are you here Algie?
Algie's heartbeat quickened. His breathing became shallower. Perspiration appeared on his pate and his forehead.
Now slow down. Take a deep breath Algie. That's right. Hold it in a second. Now let it out.
The sight came back into his left eye and Algie began feeling more at ease. He continued this deep breathing exercise another five minutes. He looked carefully at his therapist and said: My friend was brutally murdered and I survived. I am being punished for surviving.
This is the first time you have responded to anybody since that night Algie. It has been over a week since you arrived here. I would like to take a risk Algie. No matter what course of treatment I suggest, there is risk. Are you ready to take a risk Algie?
Algie thought for a second; a week? Damn. He had no idea he had been there that long.
Yes I am Doctor. Yes I am.
Good. Then come with me.
The door that had magically opened upon the arrival of Ben had remained open and the two simply waltzed out into the hall. And they walked on down the hall....
What's it all about, Algie?
Can you tell us just how Thomas died?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Algie?
Because we think that perhaps you have lied
Or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Algie,
Then I guess it's wise to be cruel.
And if you do not tell us what went wrong, Algie
We have no choice but to call you a fool
And you'll be stuck in here in the psych ward, Algie
we know there's something going on
Something ain't quite right in transvestite land...
We believe in love, Algie
but not men wearing stockings at all, Algie
Until you tell us what happened there that night, Algie
You won't walk out of here some day
You won't find love in here, Algie
Algie
What's it all about?
Algie?
Algie...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lDSf0A9RTk&feature=PlayList&p=E82F8EA9BF55CB85&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=42 (lyrics furnished by LISB)
Sean and Bernice from accounting finally 'retired' to Bernice's place. They had learned at lot that evening at the Castle. Hanson had divulged some secrets about NORTHCO and the fourth floor.
Following the narrative concerning UFO's and such, Sean had inquired about maintenance. It must be difficult to keep that building so clean. Well Hanson could not shut up after that. Even though the janitor never had been allowed access to the basement of the office building, he had been to the fourth floor on occasion.
And what a mess Hanson had found there. Shredded paper all over the place...the floor, the desks. Costumes for Christsakes. What the hell was that all about. And cages with animals stacked on the wall, the west wall he thought. There were no windows as such and the lighting was strange.
He could never bring help when he was ordered up there. And every time he had completed his 'tour', Sphincter would show up and order him to take this blue pill.
At least he surmised this because the last time he cleaned up the top floor he was given the pill and tucked it under his tongue, spitting it out later. He was certain that it gave him headaches and he was not going through that again. So even though that last tour was the only one he recalled, there was enough familiarity there to cue him; to indicate that that had not been the first time in the mysterious attic.
There was something else about the ten or so caged animals. Even though they all appeared to be examples of local breeds like raccoons and rabbits, THEY ALL GLOWED ORANGE.
Where the piece to this puzzle fit was the question. But the late night ale had made the couple too whimsical for such inquiry.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
NORTHCO-X: Invasion of the UFO's
NORTHCO-X: Invasion of the UFO's
October 30, 2009, 5:10PM
Sean got to the Castle Bar with the full intent of making the shuttle a designated driver. The word was that Frank was awake, like nothing had happened. But they were keeping him in the hospital for observation.
He looked for his favorite table and there was Bernice from accounting with a pitcher and two mugs. She had not even taken a sip out of general courtesy along with the personal protocol never to drink alone.
Oh Bernice, you made it.
Hi Sean. We are all set. How is Frank?
Sean quickly grabbed a mug, which Bernice had filled, and drank it down like it was a canteen full of water and he was in the desert.
Well, I happened to get through to the attending nurse--Frank had listed me as next of kin, can you imagine?--and she said Frank was awake but would remain in the hospital for observation and there will be some testing performed as I predicted.
When you found him, was he bleeding or anything?
No Bernice, he was just lying there on this side. I checked for breathing and called the EMT's. That is about it.
What is going on Sean. Everything seems so weird lately.
ll I am working on a recap Bernice. I mean a summary of all of what has happened. Which reminds me, I found an envelope marked 'Top Secret'. We should review that later when we get home.
Home? My goodness. Bernice smiled and Sean blushed. She loved it when Sean blushed.
Okay let us summarize what we have so far. Frank, who is the number three or four person in management-my direct supervisor-has no idea what his own company actually does. Me, I am manager of the third floor of a three story building and I have no idea exactly what NORTHCO produces. Except there are not three floors and a rather large warehouse basement; there is actually a fourth floor where short people are present.
You, Bernice, have worked in the accounting division for six years; reviewed thousands upon thousands of ledgers; and you do not know what NORTHCO does either.
And I have a dog who glows. And my dog and I have seen other animals residing in the outskirts of the forest who also glow. And the colors seem to vary from blue to orange. And if this is not enough, I swear I saw a pack of armadillos, armadillos for Chrissakes, running to the forest.
And you know what else Bernice. It appears that Thomas is dead; had his head ripped from his body. And the head is still missing and Algie, who appears to have been Thomas' consort, is now under observation in a mental hospital in Pierre.
Have I missed anything here Bernice?
Well, I had heard that Algie was not going to be back at the office for awhile But that was about it. I feel so bad for Thomas though. Where did all this occur?
In Algie's home. It was a tryst of some kind. There were police all over the place. Whenever Algie is released, he will not be going home for awhile because they are doing all they can to keep it a secured crime scene. Animals might even have been involved, but everyone is keeping rather tight lipped about all this.
His head was ripped right off his body? The picture just got to Bernice. My God she thought. Maybe I gotta get as far away from the Dakotas as possible.
Yes. But nobody is talking.
Just then Hanson came by. Hanson was the head of Janitorial Operations at NORTHCO. It seemed like Hanson had always been there. Hanson was truly one of the dumbest human beings Sean had ever met. It seemed like every time Sean spoke with him, Sean ended up in stitches.
The last time he spoke with Hanson at the office he told him that the third floor lady's room needed to be cleaned pronto. Hanson looked at him and asked what the lady's room had to do with the Lone Ranger's companion.
Hanson, mug in hand, addressed the couple: Mind if I join you for a bit?
Well Hanson, good to see you but....
No, just the right time Hanson, Bernice interjected. She called over the maiden and ordered another pitcher as Hanson sat down at the table.
I need to talk to somebody about this. Can I trust you two? You have always been kind to me and I just need to talk to somebody.
Of course Hanson, we are all ears said Bernice.
Hanson looked quizzically at their ears, shook his head and began:
I saw some lights in the night sky last night. Strange lights. Have either of you seen any strange lights?
Sean looked at Bernice. What kind of lights Hanson. I mean were they overhead cause you know we have a lot of night military flights and all around here.
No, these lights were horizontal.
You mean the lights were just over the horizon?
Yeah, like that. Kind of a glow coming from the northern forest.
Then Sean made one of the biggest mistakes he had made in days. Have you ever seen these lights before?
Oh there is stuff goin on in South Dakota all the time. Me and Ralphy, Ralphy was my high school buddy and after we graduated high school we went to work for a horse farm, just outside of Pierre. And the things we saw.
I mean one night, we was surveyin the sky. It was just beautiful that night and the stars were triple clear, believe you me. I mean there was no moon and the sky was just lit up so beautiful and all. It was about midnite and while we was watchin, there appeared, out of nowhere, a bunch of lights in like an octagon shape, you know like a ten sided object.
And it started spinnin and spinnin, kind a like a quarter on slate, you know what I mean? So I says, Ralphy do you see that?
And so Ralphy says, wow. And if you knew Ralphy...well he aint none for conversing and all. When Ralphy says: WOW, I mean that means something.
So all of a sudden, the object with the lights stopped spinning and took off. No sound whatsoever and you know how quiet it can be in the night here. Well let me tell you something, no sound at all emanated from that there object.
So we were on the road anyway, the damn car ran out of gas. We found out later there had been some sort of gas leak. I mean Timmy, my brother, found part of an antler in it...well anyhooo we decided to use Ralphy's new cell phone. And after figuring out how to use it, we called 911.
So Sheriff Johnston shows up about an hour or so later. We were not sure of the time because it was getting chilly in the night air even though it was June and all and so we got into the car and fell asleep.
So I hear a knock at the window and it's the Sheriff. So I get out of the car and start telling him about what was in the sky.
Do you know of any other witnesses Hanson to this great event?
Oh no Sheriff, see we had closed up Popper's and all so everyone was gone.
Oh, closed up Popper's again Hanson, did ya? The Sheriff remarked.
Well I ended up taking a trip in his patrol car and lost my license and everything. I told my lawyer all about it and he just shook his head the same way as Sheriff Johnston.
Let me tell you, the next time that ever happened I would remember to have Ralphy sleep in the driver's side.
Well let me tell you two, this was proof to me of the giant conspiracy. I mean that sheriff just filed charges to shut me up. And the lawyer was in on it, I could tell by the way he shook his head and all after I TOLD HIM THE TRUTH.
So this is really the first time I ever related this story to another human being. And if you repeat it or try to quote me I will deny it because they will just come after me again.
But another time, when I was in Pierre, about one in the morning I should think, Ralphy and I had just closed up Poppers...it was Emily's birthday and all so Sam kept the bar opened till real closing time...and we were outside and there were two speeding rocket type objects traveling right over our heads. I mean we had not even gotten into our car yet (Ralphy kind of forgot where he parked that night) when we saw these visions. And since there was no moon and the sky was clear and Sam had shut off the lights and all,
And so Ralphy, he looks up and points this time and says: WOW WOW.
I mean it was something to behold. And as I watched the arc the two rockets were making, the one rocket on the west side just vanished. Into thin air. I had never seen anything like that ever before in my life and never once since then.
And you can bet we did not call 911 that time. No sirree bob.
Just then, Hanson let one rip. I mean really, really rip. Bernice and Sean looked down as Hanson turned bright red.
I apologize for that. I really do. I have intestinal issues that my doctor is helping me with.
I will be right back Hanson. I got something in my throat, said Sean as he rushed toward the back of the Castle.
Sean began laughing uncontrollably. He had never ever heard a UFO story related like this in his entire life and it was the single funniest thing he ever heard. He thought about all those great stand up comics and thought that Hanson had really missed his calling. And every time he thought he had himself together, Sean started snorting again. So Sean went into the loo and washed his face and thought about the most tragic things he could think of before he came back to the table.
A trio, all of a sudden appeared on stage and began singing:
Autumn in New York can't compare
To the Fall of South Dakota
Rather be in good old Pierre
Than stuck in murky Saratoga
Nothin like the pure open air
To naturally cure your ills
And when all else seems to fail
There's always the good ole Black Hills
Nothin like the pretty prairie
Nothin like good ole prairie dogs
Nothin like beautiful aeries
Compared to New York smog
Suppose there are sights things in New York
That you cannot find in Dakota
But we do have Kevin Costner
While they just have Abe Vigoda
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/dikkday48yahoocom/2009/10/northco-x-invasion-of-the-ufos.php
October 30, 2009, 5:10PM
Sean got to the Castle Bar with the full intent of making the shuttle a designated driver. The word was that Frank was awake, like nothing had happened. But they were keeping him in the hospital for observation.
He looked for his favorite table and there was Bernice from accounting with a pitcher and two mugs. She had not even taken a sip out of general courtesy along with the personal protocol never to drink alone.
Oh Bernice, you made it.
Hi Sean. We are all set. How is Frank?
Sean quickly grabbed a mug, which Bernice had filled, and drank it down like it was a canteen full of water and he was in the desert.
Well, I happened to get through to the attending nurse--Frank had listed me as next of kin, can you imagine?--and she said Frank was awake but would remain in the hospital for observation and there will be some testing performed as I predicted.
When you found him, was he bleeding or anything?
No Bernice, he was just lying there on this side. I checked for breathing and called the EMT's. That is about it.
What is going on Sean. Everything seems so weird lately.
ll I am working on a recap Bernice. I mean a summary of all of what has happened. Which reminds me, I found an envelope marked 'Top Secret'. We should review that later when we get home.
Home? My goodness. Bernice smiled and Sean blushed. She loved it when Sean blushed.
Okay let us summarize what we have so far. Frank, who is the number three or four person in management-my direct supervisor-has no idea what his own company actually does. Me, I am manager of the third floor of a three story building and I have no idea exactly what NORTHCO produces. Except there are not three floors and a rather large warehouse basement; there is actually a fourth floor where short people are present.
You, Bernice, have worked in the accounting division for six years; reviewed thousands upon thousands of ledgers; and you do not know what NORTHCO does either.
And I have a dog who glows. And my dog and I have seen other animals residing in the outskirts of the forest who also glow. And the colors seem to vary from blue to orange. And if this is not enough, I swear I saw a pack of armadillos, armadillos for Chrissakes, running to the forest.
And you know what else Bernice. It appears that Thomas is dead; had his head ripped from his body. And the head is still missing and Algie, who appears to have been Thomas' consort, is now under observation in a mental hospital in Pierre.
Have I missed anything here Bernice?
Well, I had heard that Algie was not going to be back at the office for awhile But that was about it. I feel so bad for Thomas though. Where did all this occur?
In Algie's home. It was a tryst of some kind. There were police all over the place. Whenever Algie is released, he will not be going home for awhile because they are doing all they can to keep it a secured crime scene. Animals might even have been involved, but everyone is keeping rather tight lipped about all this.
His head was ripped right off his body? The picture just got to Bernice. My God she thought. Maybe I gotta get as far away from the Dakotas as possible.
Yes. But nobody is talking.
Just then Hanson came by. Hanson was the head of Janitorial Operations at NORTHCO. It seemed like Hanson had always been there. Hanson was truly one of the dumbest human beings Sean had ever met. It seemed like every time Sean spoke with him, Sean ended up in stitches.
The last time he spoke with Hanson at the office he told him that the third floor lady's room needed to be cleaned pronto. Hanson looked at him and asked what the lady's room had to do with the Lone Ranger's companion.
Hanson, mug in hand, addressed the couple: Mind if I join you for a bit?
Well Hanson, good to see you but....
No, just the right time Hanson, Bernice interjected. She called over the maiden and ordered another pitcher as Hanson sat down at the table.
I need to talk to somebody about this. Can I trust you two? You have always been kind to me and I just need to talk to somebody.
Of course Hanson, we are all ears said Bernice.
Hanson looked quizzically at their ears, shook his head and began:
I saw some lights in the night sky last night. Strange lights. Have either of you seen any strange lights?
Sean looked at Bernice. What kind of lights Hanson. I mean were they overhead cause you know we have a lot of night military flights and all around here.
No, these lights were horizontal.
You mean the lights were just over the horizon?
Yeah, like that. Kind of a glow coming from the northern forest.
Then Sean made one of the biggest mistakes he had made in days. Have you ever seen these lights before?
Oh there is stuff goin on in South Dakota all the time. Me and Ralphy, Ralphy was my high school buddy and after we graduated high school we went to work for a horse farm, just outside of Pierre. And the things we saw.
I mean one night, we was surveyin the sky. It was just beautiful that night and the stars were triple clear, believe you me. I mean there was no moon and the sky was just lit up so beautiful and all. It was about midnite and while we was watchin, there appeared, out of nowhere, a bunch of lights in like an octagon shape, you know like a ten sided object.
And it started spinnin and spinnin, kind a like a quarter on slate, you know what I mean? So I says, Ralphy do you see that?
And so Ralphy says, wow. And if you knew Ralphy...well he aint none for conversing and all. When Ralphy says: WOW, I mean that means something.
So all of a sudden, the object with the lights stopped spinning and took off. No sound whatsoever and you know how quiet it can be in the night here. Well let me tell you something, no sound at all emanated from that there object.
So we were on the road anyway, the damn car ran out of gas. We found out later there had been some sort of gas leak. I mean Timmy, my brother, found part of an antler in it...well anyhooo we decided to use Ralphy's new cell phone. And after figuring out how to use it, we called 911.
So Sheriff Johnston shows up about an hour or so later. We were not sure of the time because it was getting chilly in the night air even though it was June and all and so we got into the car and fell asleep.
So I hear a knock at the window and it's the Sheriff. So I get out of the car and start telling him about what was in the sky.
Do you know of any other witnesses Hanson to this great event?
Oh no Sheriff, see we had closed up Popper's and all so everyone was gone.
Oh, closed up Popper's again Hanson, did ya? The Sheriff remarked.
Well I ended up taking a trip in his patrol car and lost my license and everything. I told my lawyer all about it and he just shook his head the same way as Sheriff Johnston.
Let me tell you, the next time that ever happened I would remember to have Ralphy sleep in the driver's side.
Well let me tell you two, this was proof to me of the giant conspiracy. I mean that sheriff just filed charges to shut me up. And the lawyer was in on it, I could tell by the way he shook his head and all after I TOLD HIM THE TRUTH.
So this is really the first time I ever related this story to another human being. And if you repeat it or try to quote me I will deny it because they will just come after me again.
But another time, when I was in Pierre, about one in the morning I should think, Ralphy and I had just closed up Poppers...it was Emily's birthday and all so Sam kept the bar opened till real closing time...and we were outside and there were two speeding rocket type objects traveling right over our heads. I mean we had not even gotten into our car yet (Ralphy kind of forgot where he parked that night) when we saw these visions. And since there was no moon and the sky was clear and Sam had shut off the lights and all,
And so Ralphy, he looks up and points this time and says: WOW WOW.
I mean it was something to behold. And as I watched the arc the two rockets were making, the one rocket on the west side just vanished. Into thin air. I had never seen anything like that ever before in my life and never once since then.
And you can bet we did not call 911 that time. No sirree bob.
Just then, Hanson let one rip. I mean really, really rip. Bernice and Sean looked down as Hanson turned bright red.
I apologize for that. I really do. I have intestinal issues that my doctor is helping me with.
I will be right back Hanson. I got something in my throat, said Sean as he rushed toward the back of the Castle.
Sean began laughing uncontrollably. He had never ever heard a UFO story related like this in his entire life and it was the single funniest thing he ever heard. He thought about all those great stand up comics and thought that Hanson had really missed his calling. And every time he thought he had himself together, Sean started snorting again. So Sean went into the loo and washed his face and thought about the most tragic things he could think of before he came back to the table.
A trio, all of a sudden appeared on stage and began singing:
Autumn in New York can't compare
To the Fall of South Dakota
Rather be in good old Pierre
Than stuck in murky Saratoga
Nothin like the pure open air
To naturally cure your ills
And when all else seems to fail
There's always the good ole Black Hills
Nothin like the pretty prairie
Nothin like good ole prairie dogs
Nothin like beautiful aeries
Compared to New York smog
Suppose there are sights things in New York
That you cannot find in Dakota
But we do have Kevin Costner
While they just have Abe Vigoda
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/dikkday48yahoocom/2009/10/northco-x-invasion-of-the-ufos.php
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